Uncle G...

What do you say when you lose someone? I’m terrible at knowing what to say out loud, but on paper I can ramble on and at least get out what I think I’m trying to say.

This week we had to say goodbye to my dear Uncle Graham. Just 58 years young and not at all ready to leave, but sadly he lost his battle with cancer. Bloody cancer! 

Now Uncle G (as me and my sis seem to have reverted to calling him over the years) was not a soppy or sentimental type, much like me. He’d probably be embarrassed that I’m even writing something about him and tell me to put my time to better use. I’m sorry Uncle G, this one you don’t get away with.

One thing I will always hold dear, is the time I used to spend with my Uncle Graham at his dog training school - it’s where I first met Sue in fact. I think as a really small child I was scared of dogs, I have vague recollections of climbing high up onto my Mum or Dad’s knees if we were in someone’s house with a dog. But the first dog I remember loving was Chaff. A beautiful, gentle border collie, who I know always had a huge place in my Uncle’s heart, even 25 years after he’d gone. 

Finally me, my sister (and I think probably my Mum too) pestered my Dad for long enough until he gave in to the reality that we were going to have a dog. Our Barney. We had him from a pup and loved him just as Uncle G had loved Chaff. However, unlike Uncle G, I had very little control over this crazy, big bouncy dog, and I wanted to learn. 

I’d seen the way dogs looked up to Uncle G, and pranced forward, walking to heel, like they were stuck to his shoe. I’d watched him at dog trials send one of his German Shepherds, Eddie, to pick up an egg and a sausage and not try to eat them, just delivering them back to him in exchange for a tickle of the ear and a “good lad”.

My first evening at the dog club, I remember handing Barney over to my Uncle G with the words, “he might pull you a bit”, after he’d just dragged me, like a reindeer tugging Santa’s sleigh, across the muddy field! I remember the knowing smile Uncle G gave me as he took Barney. He gave him a bit of a fuss, had a play with him, until Barney was bounding around like a tiny pup again. Then my Grandad, who was stood next to me at the time, said: “Watch this”. 

To my amazement - and utter dismay - Barney was given a sharp yank on the lead, walked around the back of my Uncle G, sat next to him, looked up and then walked to heel..like he was stuck to his foot. So annoying! But again, just brilliant. 

His relationship with his dogs, has always been enviable. A mutual love and respect, the sort of love people write about when they say a dog is ‘man’s best friend’. I suspect his current dog Billy will be a bit lost for a while, but he has Sue, and she has him, so I know they’ll be fine.

And then there’s Uncle G and Sue’s love for diving, which of course was related to animals. His final job, working with animals and teaching students about them at Brackenhurst, I know was a passion - particularly when it meant heading off to Mauritius to go and put the diving into real practise! 

And what a jammy git, getting a job that takes you to a beautiful island, seeing the most amazing things, meeting fantastic people - and all for a few lectures and a risk assessment! I know there was a huge amount more to it than that, but I did enjoy teasing him, as I was heading to St Ann’s for a photocall on a dreary day, knowing he was taking a flight to paradise!

He’d moan about work sometimes, we all do. But he loved it! He loved his students, his friends and colleagues, and the opportunities it gave him. I’m so pleased he worked so hard to get there.

I could go on and on, but I won’t - anyone who knows me well, understands the restraint this is taking. There’s little more to say, but that he was our Uncle G, we will love him always and miss him terribly. 

I know he didn’t believe in heaven, and I’m not sure where I stand on that front myself. But I like to have some faith that when you leave here, there’s something else, somewhere else and someone else to greet you when you get there. When Uncle G gets there, that’ll be Grandad, Chaff, Eddie, Zac 1 and Zac 2, and all those he’s lost and would love to see again. 

Graham Shelbourne 19.04.58 - 16.11.16