Day 66: ‘Make mine a glass of squash’

I’M just going to come out and say it: “I don’t drink”. And by that, I don’t mean I’m teetotal, or have an aversion to the stuff, and I’m not saying I haven’t tanked it (as ladylike as that sounds) in the past.

I just mean I’m a cheap date. If I had the choice, I would always go for a glass of squash, a diet coke or a cup of tea before I’d even consider opening a bottle of wine. 

Don’t get me wrong, there’ll be the odd occasion where I may sample a few tipples (normally in the company of Laura Jane - terrible influence) and in the right circumstances, I’ll enjoy a gin and tonic. But if I had to fill out a form and tick the box next to ‘How many units of alcohol do you drink a week?’ I’d have to say none! I reckon in total over the year I probably consume 10-15 units of alcohol..in my twenties that used to happen in one weekend!

Is this a conscious decision, or something that’s just crept up on me? A bit of both I think. 

This isn’t done on any principle, or for any health reasons, it’s just quite simple - I’m not that bothered about it! That doesn’t mean I’m not whole heartedly entertained by an inebriated friend or family member at a party or wedding, I positively endorse it!

A number of times I have been in the company of drunkards (and I say this with genuine endearment) and to anybody else’s knowledge, I am one of them - until I walk straight out the building and jump into the car to drive home.

I’m very lucky that I have friends who get it, who get me, and wouldn’t try and ply me with the strong stuff. They know I don’t need it. You just give me a dance floor, one or more dancing partners, a bit of eighties and nineties pop, and it’s like I’m six drinks in and £40 lighter, despite having spent a tenner on pure hydration!

Not having a drink in your hand in a social situation does have its pitfalls. As a woman of child bearing age, you are easily mistaken for someone in the early stages of pregnancy, and will either be whispered about, or in some cases brazenly asked about your delicate state.

There are also those people who believe you’re being unsociable by not having a drink. It’s almost like there’s something wrong with you if you’d rather have a lime and lemonade than a glass of merlot in your hand. I have literally in the past faced a barrage of questions for choosing to drive home, or sticking to the tap water on the table. 

As Whitney Houston once said: “It’s not right, but it’s ok” - on both occasions, my head the next morning was clear as a bell, I can’t imagine theirs were!