Day 44: ‘Light drizzle’

BEFORE I begin my rant, might I point out that I do sympathise with anyone who has been affected by the recent extreme weather.

However.

I say extreme weather - it’s all relative isn’t it? For Britain, the wind and rain that has battered the South coast in the past few weeks is extreme. But when you look at some of the more volatile climates in the rest of the world, what Britain has been experiencing in the past few weeks is merely light drizzle.

As with any form of weather extremity, we are not prepared for it. Any time there’s any sign of snow, thousands of head teachers start rubbing their hands together at the possibility of closing their schools, buses and trains will almost certainly cease running, and you can guarantee every council in the land has run out of gritting salt. 

But of course, why would we be prepared for these events? They happen so rarely, putting the infrastructure in place would be a phenomenal expense, that could duly be wasted if the following ten winters, nothing untoward happened.

Any Government is in an impossible position to deal with such unprecedented acts of god, but they’re the first people to be blamed when people find themselves in strife.

One screaming woman in Somerset decided the other day to speak directly to camera midway through an interview with the BBC, accusing David Cameron of neglecting her and her community, vociferously insisting he puts on a pair of waders and personally helps them clean up. 

I appreciate her desperation and it would be a fantastic PR stunt for Mr Cameron to don his Barbours and head for the rising waters - it’s the sort of action an American President would almost certainly fulfil. 

But I do agree with the PM’s advisers, that surely when something with such gravity is happening, alongside other internal and worldwide issues the Government faces on a daily basis, that he is better placed in Downing Street, running the country, and wondering how many jokes he can create about Ed Milliband’s hair before the next debate in Parliament.

The thing about the screaming lady in Somerset is the choice she made at some point in the past about where she lives.

A riverside village or coastal town is a beautiful place to live on a sunny summer’s day. But at the point of purchase of a new home, one thing is ultimately clear - you are in close proximity to a moving body of water that is just a few feet from ground level, and given a few weeks of rain, has the potential to burst its banks or breach a sea wall. 

If you think the risk’s worth it, and you’re prepared to pay the high insurance premiums that come with such a purchase, then buy a house by the river or on the seafront - but when you do, also buy a small boat, a family pack of waders, and don’t complain when the ‘Big Guy’ decides to send in the storm clouds. 

If you’re more of a loafers than waders sort of person, I’d perhaps look at a hillside property, at least half a mile from any large body of water.

Harsh? But fair I think.