Day 24: ‘Impervious to the cold’

A friend was once quoted as saying: “Chavs must be impervious to heat or cold, they wear the same thing all year round!”

Somewhat of a generalisation I know. But not entirely wrong.

Anyone who has been watching the ‘throw shoes at the telly’ misery fest that is Benefits Street, will perhaps agree these are the sort of specimens my friend may have been referring to - and if you watch again with this in mind, you’ll see his point. 

I’m afraid to say ladies and gentleman that this morning James Turner Street had arrived in Hucknall. Well either that or ‘My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding’. 

I was having a walk down the High Street with my little lady in the pram, wondering when that ruddy Costa is going to open and allow me the luxury of a Black Forest Hot Chocolate of a Friday morning, when she appeared opposite me on the pedestrian crossing.

I may have stared and appeared a little aghast.

Surrounded by my fellow towns folk, all wrapped up in hefty winter garments, with flushed red cheeks and an unholy amount of bobble hats, there she was. Clutching the hand of her suitably wrapped up daughter, was a woman dressed in a lycra boob tube and matching skirt in an orange and brown Aztec pattern. 

The outfit was exposing her washboard stomach (which would have been impressive, had it not been a deep shade of orange, crinkly and mottled with sun damage). Her eight inch platform heels and flasher mac, did little to compliment the outfit, and the straggly peroxide blonde extensions flapping in the wind didn’t quite have the ‘L’oreal’ desired effect. 

Had I seen this vision in the middle of summer, I would still probably have stopped and stared. But today, this woman was on another level of crazy! I have to say, despite the scowl she gave me, that woman kept me smiling for the rest of the day!

Thanks Cruella!